What you may not know about me, is that, numerous times in my life, I went completely broke, and I also had times when I made very good money. I had times when I was able to pick up restaurant tabs to treat friends, give gifts on every single occasion I could, and sometimes even splurge spending money on stuff I didn’t really need to… I also faced hardship times… I remember one time when I shared an instant pasta with a friend, yeah, that one that costs about 0.99 cents, because we didn’t have anything to eat or money to buy food!!! I worked hard and learned the value of having financial resources and also the value of not having them…
Up until recently, I felt bad when I had a coaching prospect saying they really needed coaching but could not “afford” to pay a coach. I then took pity on them and worked around their affordability and what they would be willing to pay… “Everyone should have the right to receive coaching if they really needed.” – I used to justify to myself.
Then, one time I raised my hand and volunteered to do an NLP demo. During the demo, I chose to work on the fact that I felt “bad” charging others for my services and the trainer asked me: “why do you think you are better than others?” I recall that moment perfectly. I was shocked to hear that, and I insisted I didn’t think that way, I even felt a bit offended… I wanted to give so much, help so much!!! How could I have been compared to such a mean “super-powered” woman, that thought she was better than others? It just couldn’t be!!!
I learned during my coach training that “People are naturally creative resourceful ad whole”… Today I understand what the trainer was teaching me, very clearly! When I had and when I didn’t have financial resources, I still could find ways to invest in my growth and I still do it to this time. Why wouldn’t others be able to do the same? Weren’t they also “naturally creative, resourceful and whole”?
It’s not the lack of resources, it’s your lack of resourcefulness that stops you. – Tony Robbins
Today, I decided just so I am aware of, to put my self growth expenses together and add them all up. I did not include time, gas, food expenses, hotels and travel expenses.
It turns out that, since 2010 when I started investing on my self development with therapy, coaching, books, seminars, trainings, courses and so on to really step up and become the person I am today, I spent about 45,000 dollars!!! I am sure I missed one or another expense since I didn’t use to track these before…
The NLP trainer was right… If I could make this happen, why couldn’t others? When I couldn’t afford it, I asked friends to lend me the money, I worked 2-3 jobs at the same time, I bartered services in exchange of learning, I paid with credit cards, I sold stuff I didn’t need and reduced expenses when I could, I negotiated. I also bought books and studied on my own and I even found free resources including a non-profit that granted me 30 coaching sessions on a pro-bono basis…
I’ve met so many inspiring people in my life that studied hard to pass exams in order to be accepted into universities with scholarships, because they couldn’t pay for it. They paid with their dedication!!! My mom is one of these people, she studied medicine with books from the library because back in the day, she could not afford those books. Worth mentioning, with all difficulties she faced, she was always an A grade student.
The truth is… In the end, no matter what the challenge is for anyone, if you really want it, you will always find a way!
I am grateful for my resourcefulness and, to maintain the giver integrity I have within, or better yet, the part of me that still gives freely and helps others expecting nothing in return, I currently work with 2 non-profit organizations offering pro-bono coaching sessions. I help people on the streets when they give me permission to help (can’t coach without permission) and I open them up to other possibilities so they also may work on themselves to find their own resources…
So, I guess the true excuse is not related to affordability after all, is it? Based on my findings and my own experience, it has more to do with self-worth. How much are you really worth investing any time on if you don’t even invest in yourself? If you really want something, find ways to GET IT!
You see, it is simpler than it seems: If A is not possible right now, what are the B’s, C’s? You have a whole alphabet to create options that will work for you in that moment until you may get to A directly. Still reading? Stop and go do what you have been wanting to do all this time RIGHT NOW!
Make it outstanding!
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